if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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