roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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