We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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