It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
