They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
