i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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