Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
