So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
