just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
