yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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