I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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