i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
