we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
