He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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