Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Even my vagina gasped.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
