So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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