I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
