captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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