Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
