Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
