he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
