she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
