Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
