He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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