very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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