so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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