she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
