I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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