I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
