called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
