he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
