I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
