I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
