operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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