Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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