is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
