i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
