its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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