i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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