Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
