I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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