Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
