i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
