I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
