So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
40s are totally the cure
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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