I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
