I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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