omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
