I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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