My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
