dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
